Ladies, 30 Minutes to a More Attentive Mate

Man ignoring Woman by William MahnkenHave you ever been in a relationship where your boyfriend or husband is just getting home and you can’t wait to tell them about your day?  Are you ready to communicate the game plan for the rest of the night?  Have you ever gotten really frustrated with him because he seems to not understand that he is home now and you have so much to communicate, share, and for him to do but he just isn’t listening?  Hopefully I can help save you from some arguments and frustration.

Studies show that it takes men 30 minutes to unwind after arriving home to be able to effectively reengage his relationship with you and to be able to communicate at the level you desire. This does not mean you have to ignore your mate when he arrives home, but what this does mean is give him a chance to breathe and settle down before diving into the next thing and overloading him with communication right away.

Yes, there are times when his relaxation is a luxury that can’t be had. But if you can build into your lifestyle the comfort of greeting your loved one with a big smile, a hug and kiss, and then asking him if he would like some time to unwind and relax, it should pay off. Give him a sincere choice, allowing him to relax as he desires for 30 minutes. You will save yourself from frustration and have a more engaging lover which is really what you desire.

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Dating CoachKK, Kimberly Koehler is the leading dating and relationship coach in Minneapolis, MN who helps men and women globally. As a renowned coach and professional speaker I bring you practical and applicable strategies and solutions to the most common dating and relationship struggles. Date smarter, have stronger relationship and join me as we navigate the dating and relationship maze.
  1. This advice is right on. It’s even more right on if the drive home is stressful or if the afternoon at work was stressful. I know that when I’m stressed, it’s difficult for me to have a good time -and- I’m likely to be snippy. I don’t want to snip at someone who doesn’t deserve it, so I want to unwind so I can be pleasant. My preference is to say “hi” then go hide for a while.

    • Joe,

      Thank you for sharing your perspective. It is very difficult for both parties. One thing to keep in mind is that women need this time as well. If she is a mother, the odds are she could really use some “me” time. Not only should it be alone but also a separate time with her companion. It usually is something every women needs, does not always take, and usually isn’t realized it’s needed till it has built up over time. So if you have a companion be sure to be deliberate in giving them this time as well.

    • God, I feel like I shloud be takin notes! Great work

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