Dating Advice: Stop Phubbing Your Date

Dating Advice: Stop Phubbing On Your Date

 Dating Advice - Stop Phubbing on a date

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What is Phubbing?

The act of snubbing someone by looking at your phone instead of paying attention to them in a social situation.

Not sure if you are a Phubber? Keep reading.

Today’s dating advice is about ‘Phubbing’ –  an ever growing annoying practice not only in the dating world but in our everyday interactions with others. If you are a Phubber I will cut to the chase – your behavior is down right rude to everyone around you. My advice – stop doing it!

If you are like me and most everyone else on the planet you have some weird love affair with your phone. It is like an appendage that was added post birth and you cannot imagine ever parting from it – not even on a date. Well, this appendage that you are so fond of could be sabotaging your love life along with your close relationships with family, friends and co-workers.

Common Examples of Phubbing on a date:

Checking out mid conversation: No matter how we slice and dice it checking out of a conversation to check your phone whether consciously or unconsciously and no matter how fast you are at it, is rude.  If your phubbing is out of an addiction you have for being plugged in then turn your phone off or leave it in the car during your dates. If your behavior is due to a lack of interest in a conversation or person then either change the conversation to a topic that will draw you in more or politely wrap up the date and draw it to an end.

“Checking-In”: Within a few clicks we can share with the world where we are and with whom we’re with – this could potentially be a buzz kill. Instead of creating a magical moment at the beginning of a date with eyes meeting, butterflies in the stomach and smiles beaming from ear to ear that builds anticipation you could be creating a mood killer. Having your head down and asking your date to wait while you “check-in” to your location rather then you checking into your date standing before you can send some very strong messages that you are not interested.

Tweeting and Facebooking: Some singles live their dating lives out on social media platforms such as Twitter or Facebook as if their dating lives are the latest and greatest reality tv show. They let the entire world know the details of their dates live.  This type of phubbing can have a far greater impact on your dating life then you can imagine. Not only can your date be put off by your lack of attention but you also leave a trail for them to follow and read in the future. Then there is an even greater impact that is often overlooked when your poor dating behavior becomes exposed to your followers. Withing your group of followers could be someone who may desire to date you however they get turned off by knowing how you behave on your dates- talk about shooting yourself in the foot.

Texting or talking on your phone: Let’s just face it texting your friends, family or even your dating coach while on a date is rude. It goes well beyond that if you are taking and making phone calls – what message do you think you are sending? If you must make a call or send a text … do it discreetly and quickly  in the bathroom.

It’s all about your phone: This is the ultimate phub and is far more common then we want to admit. This would be when someone pulls out their phone and starts using it as the conversation piece of their date because they have zero interest in getting to knowing the person across the table from them. They send a clear and strong message that their phone is far more desirable then actually engaging their date.

I leave you with this dating and relationship advice…

Whether you are on your first date or have been married for years think about how, and even more importantly when you are choosing to use your phones and technology. Make a point to show others that you are investing in them by putting your gadgets down. Send a message that’s loud and clear that they have your undivided attention.

What to do next:

1) Comment below and share your favorite Phubbing stories.

2) Check out Fox9 news story on Phubbing – you just might catch yours truly sharing some advice.

3) Share this article or the Fox9 news story with your friends on Facebook or Twitter



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Dating CoachKK, Kimberly Koehler is the leading dating and relationship coach in Minneapolis, MN who helps men and women globally. As a renowned coach and professional speaker I bring you practical and applicable strategies and solutions to the most common dating and relationship struggles. Date smarter, have stronger relationship and join me as we navigate the dating and relationship maze.

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