Dating Advice Question: When Should I Ask to Call?

Dating Advice Questions:

At what point should I ask to call, or should I wait for her to ask, respecting the fact that the internet can be a scary place to meet people?

Strait Talk Dating Advice

– JS

Dating Advice – Strait Talk from Coach Kimberly

JS, thank you for your excellent question.

The short answer is if you follow my proven approach, you will set the stage in the beginning and typically by the 3rd email you will be giving them your phone number and adding, “if you are more comfortable with me calling you, then I would be happy to do so.”  I explain my internet dating approach much more thoroughly below.

Internet dating can be tricky for many people. We all know that long drawn out email exchanges can be frustrating, so if you use this successful internet dating approach, you will save yourself time and keep the process moving forward. When you are in person, you can read body language and judge when you can take another step forward towards getting to know someone. When you are dating online, your approach needs to be with intent and direct from the beginning.

You are responding to an online personal ad that you liked. Your first email is an introductory email. I have seen many people send their phone number in this email and directing the person to call them if they are interested in getting to know one another. I personally feel this is far to early to ask and you will shoot yourself in the foot more often then not (you will scare people away).

Instead of putting your phone number in your first email, what I suggest is that you put something like the following in your email, “I look forward to getting to know you better.  I would like to recommend that we exchange a couple of emails and if things feel right and we are comfortable then moving to a phone conversation and going from there. How does this sound?” This sets the stage and shares what your expectations are in a very non threatening manner.

You can add the statement in your first email or if you feel that is to bold or to quick, then put it in your second email. I personally would put it in my second email as I like my first email to simply let someone know I am interested and ask them the questions that open the lines of communication right away. Then if I am still interested, I add it to my next response.

Best of luck JS, I look forward to you trying this in your online dating and hearing how it works for you!

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Dating CoachKK, Kimberly Koehler is the leading dating and relationship coach in Minneapolis, MN who helps men and women globally. As a renowned coach and professional speaker I bring you practical and applicable strategies and solutions to the most common dating and relationship struggles. Date smarter, have stronger relationship and join me as we navigate the dating and relationship maze.
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