Dating Advice: How can I show my girlfriend I love her? Q&A with KK

How can I show my girlfriend that I love her?

Today’s dating advice comes for a reader that asked his dating question through one of my free dating services Ask the Expert – Q&A with KK page. If you have your own dating question please feel free to go to my ask the expert page and ask your own dating question and get my dating advice for free.


Dear KK,Dating Coach MN, Dating Advice, Dating Services, Ask a Dating Question

I love this amazing woman who is dear to my heart.  With many new schedule conflicts our communications have slowed and we don’t spend as much time together. This at times has created some insecurity for both of us.  How can I show her my love and give her a sense of security when we are both so busy?

Romantic at Heart


Romantic at Heart,

Thank you for taking time to write in to ask your great question. I am sorry to hear that things are not going exactly how the both of you may wish them to. On the plus side you are being proactive by reaching out and asking for some advice. Ms. Amazing must really mean a lot to you.

7 Tips for Showing Your Girlfriend You Love Her

Setup a Date To Talk About Wants, Needs & Ideas

The number one thing you can do to show Ms. Amazing you love her is to sit down with her and have a loving, open conversation about what each of your wants and needs are and for you to brainstorm on ideas of keeping your love alive.  Communication is the lynchpin of every relationship. When a relationship goes through the various shifts and changes that life throws at it the truth about how well you communicate with one another will come to light. You will also be able to see the level each of you are willing to be vulnerable to one another.

A few questions you both may wish to answer:

  • What do you need from the other to feel loved, valued, needed and desired during this busy time?
  • What are the top 5 things you value the most about your relationship and one another?
  • What specific actions could each of you take that would make you feel loved and secure during this busy time?

When you have this conversation be sure to really listen and hear what is shared. Don’t read beyond what is shared. Take to heart what is shared and implement that things you discussed. If there are requests that go beyond what you are comfortable giving or even able then be honest and try to come up with an alternative suggestion and share it. Remember to communicate back to one another what it is you heard the other communicate and if there are compromises made be sure that both of you are on the same page so the compromise will work.

Write a followup note or email to Ms. Amazing

After your conversation take some time to put together an email that articulates back to Ms. Amazing what she shared. This will not only show her that you listened to her but also heard what it is she wants and needs from you. Be sure to save a copy of this for yourself. You should take a moment and read this each week to remind yourself what your girlfriend needs to feel loved.

Take an Inventory

Take an inventory of the acts of love you did for her at the beginning of the relationship. Which ones are you still doing, which ones have you stopped doing? The smallest gestures can communicate to someone that they are loved, cared about and on someone’s mind. Many of the gestures we do at the beginning of a relationship stop as relationships become more established and we get more comfortable. If you don’t have time for all of them then plot out on a calendar when you can implement them back into your schedule. They do not need to be all at once rather you can rotate through them. The easiest way to make sure you take do them is to sit down with your list and calendar and plug the items into the calendar at the start of every quarter and plan them out. This way they will stay in front of you and you run a low risk of letting them slip.

Make it a Date

No matter the cause of your schedules being out of sync it is imperative that you both are willing to set aside a date night. This is your night to celebrate your love and relationship. Date night will remind both of you of how much you love one another. When you make a point to date your girlfriend like you did at the beginning you will be making a great effort in showing her how much you love her.  It should be romantic, planned and something you both are looking forward to. Planning a specific day of the week ensures you both will keep it free. There are plenty of ways to keep a weekly date fun and playful – this time for just the two of you to reconnect should be something you both covet.

Phone or Skype/Google Hangout dates are a great fill in if need be.

You Can Show Your Girlfriend You Love Her By Continuing to Build Trust

Trust is a very tricky thing. We often are misguided in the way we look at trust. We think of it as not cheating or telling big lies but it is far greater then that. The smallest breach of your word can have just as powerful of an impact on your trust for one another as catching the other in a big lie or in bed with someone else. Trust can be broken in a blink of an eye and can take years to regain. Being true to your word, trustworthy and reliable are powerful ways to show your girlfriend you love her.

Are you enjoying this dating advice and relationship advice thus far? Do you have your own question you would like to ask? Click here now to ask your own dating or relationship question for free.

Show Her As Well As Tell Her You Love Her

There is a value to the words you speak but they only run as deep as the actions that back them up. Two of the greatest mistakes we make in relationships are that we don’t tell the ones we love enough how much we want, need and love them as well as we don’t put actions into those words and show them those feelings. For most people they are good at either telling but not showing or showing but not telling.  You create such a powerful connections when you connect telling someone you want them, need them and love them with actions that show them this as well. If you balance showing and telling Ms. Amazing what she means to you, you will mitigate feelings that may arise due to a longing of which ever of the two of these that is absent or off balance in your relationship.

You Can Show Your Girlfriend You Love Her by Being Affectionate & Having Sex

Every relationship has its own physical intimacy level but studies show that the more affectionate and physically intimate you are with one another the closer you feel connected. If you are spending a lot of time apart then small things like holding hands, cuddling, kissing and yes having sex become more and more critical. You should work to balance emotional needs with physical needs. Always remember they go hand in hand and both are just as important as the other in a healthy loving relationship.

I leave you with this final dating advice on how you can show your girlfriend you love her:

You and Ms. Amazing hold all the keys to your relationship, the question comes down to are you both willing to communicate, be vulnerable and honest with one another? Every relationship goes through growing pains and faces challenges at one time or another. What is most important is how the two of your unite and work together to get through them. If you work on and apply the 7 tips to showing your girlfriend you lover her that I share above, you will be off to a great start to not only showing your girlfriend how much she means to you but also building a strong foundation to a stronger and healthier relationship.

Good luck Romantic at Heart let us know how it goes!

Dating Coach MN, Dating CoachKK, Dating Advice, Dating Services, Dating Tips


Join the conversation:

There are so many more great tips I could share here with you for showing your girlfriend you love her however we would be here all day discussing it. The tips above are foundation builders to a great relationship however I turn to you my readers and ask you to share either some comments on the tips I share above or any additional tips you may have for Romantic at Heart.  Please share your comments below!

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Dating CoachKK, Kimberly Koehler is the leading dating and relationship coach in Minneapolis, MN who helps men and women globally. As a renowned coach and professional speaker I bring you practical and applicable strategies and solutions to the most common dating and relationship struggles. Date smarter, have stronger relationship and join me as we navigate the dating and relationship maze.

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