Ask The Expert: Where can I meet men my own age? (30-40)

Ask The Expert Question:


Since I tend to attract men 20-30 years older than me, you suggested that I go to where younger guys hangout so that I have a better chance of attracting a younger guy (which would be a guy around my age, i.e., early 30s). Aside from bars, where would these places be? Also, will you be doing another “ignite” event anytime soon since I will miss the first one?


Dating Coach KK’s Answer:

C, thank you for asking your dating questions. We have met once and in that conversation you mentioned that your friend base is of the 40’s and 50’s. What has happened is you are very comfortable around this age demographic and therefore you are very attractive to men of this age. When they see you identifying this demographic as your peer group then they feel you are their peer as well and an attractive one at that.

So how do you get past this, you ask? First I would suggest you start gaining more friends that are in the age range you wish to date. The more you surround yourself by the people you wish to be like or date your life then evolves into this. As you build your friendships you build your sphere of possibilities. Keep in mind I am not suggesting you drop your current friends rather I am suggesting you add to the great friendships you already have. The Twin Cities is an excellent place for young people to network and meet others of like minds.

I would suggest you first look at who you are and what do you enjoy doing? Then think about who it is you are attracted to and what activities would he be involved in. Then I would turn to my good friend “Google”. Google the activities that you or he would enjoy and then type in the age range your desire. So an example of this for me would be “young professional group in Minneapolis” (or replace the word “professional” with “leaders” and you can add “networking” in front of group).  Why? I am young, I am a professional, I am a leader, I am passionate about business, AND the type of person I am attracted to just might be there. If I want to take less risk with rejection I would type “young professional singles groups in Minneapolis”.  MinnPost has a great list of these groups that you can sort through to see if there are any groups that fit your flair.

Other venues you may desire to look into:

  • Online dating sites – search profiles of men that fall into the age range you desire
  • Meetup groups that are age specific and even better if they are your hobby specific as well
  • Religious or spiritual groups that are your age specific (if this is applicable)
  • Travel groups that are tailored to your demographic

The over all key is knowing what it is you like to do and what “he” would like to do. Then find groups that are tailored to these things by Googling them. When you join a group, join it with the intent to enjoy the activities, to have fun, and to meet new people that enjoy your same passions. Be sure not to join with the sole mission to meet a man, people will sense this and become uncomfortable around you.

My last piece of advice is all though age is important at various times in our lives, I would encourage you to be open to whomever comes into your life as long as they are of quality and bring to you joy and happiness. Age is important to a degree but for the most part it is simply a number.

counter on tumblr

The following two tabs change content below.
Dating CoachKK, Kimberly Koehler is the leading dating and relationship coach in Minneapolis, MN who helps men and women globally. As a renowned coach and professional speaker I bring you practical and applicable strategies and solutions to the most common dating and relationship struggles. Date smarter, have stronger relationship and join me as we navigate the dating and relationship maze.
1 Comment
  1. A good many valuables you’ve given me.

Leave a Reply

Avoid These 7 Dating Traps

STOP Making These Dating Mistakes!