Are men really attracted to strong women?

Dating Coach Minneapolis, Dating Advice, Dating Tips, Love, Relationships, Great Love Debate

Last night at the Minneapolis Great Love Debate I shared with the audience the truth behind why strong women struggle to date and I wish to share this truth with you.

Are Men Really Attracted to Strong Women?

I work with many successful, independent women who are confused/frustrated by a perceived contradiction: society is “telling” them men are attracted to strong, independent women however these same women are not having that experience in their dating lives. Does this sound familiar to you?

Well here’s the deal, men do like strong, independent women; however most men are “turned off” by emasculating behavior from women. Most strong women are unaware that their behavior is emasculating the men they are meeting- nipping potential relationships in the bud, so to speak.

What Is Emasculating Behavior?

One of the most common emasculating behavior strong women exude is their need to emphasize how much they don’t need a man. This emasculating statement is not asserting your independence, nor is it proving you are a strong woman. What this emasculating behavior really does is send a signal that you are not fully open, not ready, or don’t know how to welcome a man into your life. It exposes how willing, or really unwilling, you are to be vulnerable as well as trust and respect a man. It’s a statement that is holding you back vs giving you freedom.

What Emasculating Behavior Does to a Man

I know that many women roll their eyes when you start talking about a man’s ego, but that’s because most women don’t realize that a man’s ego is not bulletproof, and how important it is to respect it. Emasculating a man is really not respecting a man, it’s not recognizing what a man needs from his partner. I am a firm believer that we are responsible for our own emotional, mental, spiritual, and physical well-being. However the people with whom we come in contact everyday have a powerful impact on those things. Healthy men know their worth and know they should be valued- they know what they have to offer and even though a strong, independent woman would be attractive to them, they stay clear of a woman showing signs she would emasculate, and not respect him.

My Challenge To You

So, if you are a strong, independent woman like myself, I challenge you to a quick self-examination exercise. Reflect on what messages, vibrations, energy, and attitudes you are sending out into the world. Think about your behavior, your body language and your choice of words. When you meet men do you come from a place of trying to sincerely connect and a willingness to be vulnerable? Are you open to the value that they can bring to your life? Or do you try to assert your strength and independence by showing them how much you don’t need them?

Connecting, being vulnerable, and respecting a man and his ego is not giving up your power, its quite the opposite, actually. There is nothing more powerful to a healthy man then when he meets a women who shows him not only she has a great deal of respect, value, and care for herself but also for her partner as well. In reality it demonstrates your confidence, security, and openness. That is truly beautiful and sexy.


Remember you do not have to go it alone. I am only an email or phone call away. Reach out to me.

Dating Coach MN, Dating CoachKK, Dating Advice, Dating Services, Dating Tips


The following two tabs change content below.
Dating CoachKK, Kimberly Koehler is the leading dating and relationship coach in Minneapolis, MN who helps men and women globally. As a renowned coach and professional speaker I bring you practical and applicable strategies and solutions to the most common dating and relationship struggles. Date smarter, have stronger relationship and join me as we navigate the dating and relationship maze.
  1. Most of these women are so very pathetic to begin with since they’re the most greedy, spoiled, and very selfish women on this planet the way I see it since they have no respect for us men and no good manners and personality at all either. Their independence went to their head since they really think that they’re all that which they’re not at all. To all of you strong independent women out there which you should just try to be yourselves for a change. Gee Wiz, now I know why many of us good men are still single today unfortunately.

    • Dear TTWS,

      You most certainly have the right to your opinion but I would like to encourage you to press pause and think about the type of energy you, yourself are putting out there.

      Your comment has a lot of negative energy and aggression behind it. Which is a turn off to women regardless if they are ‘strong, independent’ women or not.

      I agree people should be authentic, vulnerable and strive to be the most kind, caring, healthiest version of themselves. This applicable to ALL people, both men AND women.

      I have worked with thousands of singles from around the world. Out of all of them only one women matches the description you share.

      They’re far more AMAZING single women and men out there than not. If this is not what you are finding, I encourage you to look inwards first to see if they’re areas you need to heal and grow. If not then look outwardly and see what external modifications you may need to make. Look for patterns in thoughts, social settings, where you spend your time hoping to meet women, etc.

      Best wishes to you!

Leave a Reply

Avoid These 7 Dating Traps

STOP Making These Dating Mistakes!