5 Dating Secrets to Following Up With Someone You Just Met

5 Dating Secrets to Follow Up With Someone You Just Met

Hello, Daters!

In this blog I want to speak with you about successfully following up with someone you have just met during your life travels. You could have met this person through a business networking event, a Tweetup, at the gym, a party hosted by a friend, at a Meetup event, or sitting in a coffee shop. You may have had a conversation at length with this person or you may have only had but a briefest of conversations. Either way you have already taken a leap of faith by talking to this person that caught your eye so don’t throw away a possibility.

Don’t trip over your cold feet:   Dating Advice, Dating Tips, 5 Secrets to Following Up With Someone You Just MetNow is not the time to get cold feet and start coming up with excuses as to why contacting this person might not be a good idea. Often times we find ourselves having a fearless moment and actually have that conversation with a person we may be interested in. Afterwords we start feeling insecure and start coming up with excuses on why we shouldn’t contact them. We start throwing obstacles in our way and quickly we convince ourselves that it was a nice moment and it is just that. Typically, this is exactly where things are left and so it is added to the countless number of missed opportunities.   This is where I push my dating clients because this is the moment where successful daters shine. You will never know what possibilities are out there unless you see them through. Now is your time to take action and further engage the person you had just met.

Following up is the man’s job:  WOW, did I just write that? Yes, yes, I did however it’s not true. Following up is an equal opportunity moment and if you met someone that you would like to get to know better then it should not matter if you are the women or the man. I am a romantic at heart but enjoy playing fun dating games and date men that are gentlemen. Their were times in the past when I first met someone I had to give them a little bit of help in the beginning. Many of my female clients when they first come to me think that if they show a guy that they are interested in a conversation then it is up to the guy to follow up with them. As ladies we have been taught not to chase men. I agree we should not chase people however I do not believe we are chasing by following up. There are many times men have no clue that you are interested in them until you follow up with them. Most men just need a little help with this step and will lead after the first follow up. I believe it’s YOUR job to follow up regardless if you are a man or a women. If we all took this as our responsibility we would see a decrease in missed opportunities and soon I happily would lose a large portion of my clientele.

Keep it short, sweet, playful and personal:  Your follow up should be something very short. The point of following up is to show further interest in the other person. It is to show them that you did value meeting them and to explore the possibility of it being a mutual feeling. Single men and women like playfulness. They also are comforted and flattered when you remember something that they shared. This is an excellent opportunity to connect with this person so tying the pieces together is important. Most often if you made a neutral first impression the follow up message is what brings this person to be excited by you and start thinking about the possibilities.

The kiss of death of waiting to long:  Within the last decade the hot dating advice was to wait 7 days till you make any sort of contact. At the pace we live our life now, this is WAY to long. In my blog “Don’t be a Victim of Yourself “  I share a story about a radio host who was struggling with this very thing. Seven days is like a lifetime and you will be forgotten or worse yet replaced by the person they met 3 days later who appreciated them as much as you but understood the value of letting them know it. If the person gave you their cell phone number then send them a text message the night you met simply telling them you enjoyed meeting them. You can also do the same if they gave you an email address as well. This simple message should be no later then the next morning. After that if you would like to wait a day or two to send a more personal, playful message that will ask them to meet in the future then that would be appropriate but do not wait any longer then 48/72 hours after meeting.

Take action and give an invitation:  You can do all of the above but if you miss this step all your work is for naught. Your follow up must include an invitation to meet or chat. If you choose to chat then in your conversation you must invite the person to meet you. Expressing that you enjoyed meeting them and sharing with them that you would like to get to know them better over a cup of coffee or a drink is perfectly fine. If in the conversation you had when you first met, you discovered you both have a similar interest then invite them to join you in participating in that interest.

My Challenge to You:

Now, that you are armed with this knowledge I give you these two challenges.

1) Think about how you feel most comfortable following up with a person who catches your eye. Then the next time you are engaging in conversation think about how you wish to follow up with that person and set the stage for your follow up.

2) Think of the people that you have met in the past couple of days and follow up with them. I look forward to you letting me know what happens.

Join The Conversation by Commenting Below.

What is your favorite way to follow up with someone after you meet them?

Dating Coach Minneapolis MN, Dating Coach Services

About the Author:

Dating Coach KK, is the leading dating coach in Minneapolis, Minnesota who helps singles not only locally in the Twin Cities but also nationally and globally.  As a renowned dating coach and professional speaker she brings you practical  solutions to the most frustrating dating struggles. Her passion is to assist everyone with achieving the dating life they desire. Contact her today to find out how she can help you.



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Dating CoachKK, Kimberly Koehler is the leading dating and relationship coach in Minneapolis, MN who helps men and women globally. As a renowned coach and professional speaker I bring you practical and applicable strategies and solutions to the most common dating and relationship struggles. Date smarter, have stronger relationship and join me as we navigate the dating and relationship maze.
1 Comment
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